Poetry is always in fashion

'Twas the second Christmas in Dubai
for this American girl and Dutch guy.
And while the rest of the world shivered in cold
we two smiled under a sky of gold.

Wrapping paper and boxes were all over the floor
but there was no way we could ever be bored.
We played all day with the great gifts we were given
while our cat went crazy with the brightly colored ribbons.

Soccer tickets, a photo printer and even a new car,
there's a lot in our lives we are so thankful for.
We're approaching a new year and we know it'll be great
so we're sending you our best wishes for a fantastic 2008!

Love, Bas and Lena

Once an Editor, Always an Editor

I know I posted some thoughts on Christmas about an hour ago but I just received an email that I have to share. FYI, Ras al Khaimah is where my warehouse is located, so that's how they got my info. I swear I added nothing but italics and took out nothing but double spaces between paragraphs.

Dear Sir,
We are newly established travel and Tourism agency in Ras al khaimah city and we would like to introduce our self to your esteemed company in prospective of a long term business relation ship.
Out activities will be mainly in hood/out hood tours including ticketing and hotels and packages inside UAE and internationally.
We are ready to offer you the best rates for holiday packages all over the world under different categories and classes throughout the year for all seasons.
We highly appreciate extending your cooperation with our company in providing us tickets on your best agencies discounted fares for dealers and distributors.
Further details will be provided by our Coordinator by visiting your office.
As we still do not keep stock.
Thank you

Sometimes I think the UAE needs to launch an English improvement campaign like China. But the rest of the time I just sit back and enjoy not having to edit the funny mistakes.

The Morissette Principle

I've had many people ask me what it is like to spend Christmas in Dubai. The easy answer is that it is a lot like Florida: sun, sand and people in warm-weather clothing smugly having telephone conversations with relatives who are eye-deep in wool sweaters.

This will be our second Christmas abroad. I left the States just over a year ago in November, which meant that the holly jolly feeling was being injected into my soul for a good long time before I left. In case you're wondering, the FaLaLattes, Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas is You" and even Linda Werthhimer's recipe for cranberry whatever on NPR--all of these cultural wonders take a while to get out of your system. Call it the "Christmas Hangover" effect, if you like.

In any case, this year it has been a little harder for me to get in the spirit. The malls are crazy-busy with Santa, bears playing musical instruments and walking gingerbread men, and you can buy poinsettias at the grocery store (for the same price as a full tank of gas, btw). But the feeling behind December should not be "Geez, I need some shade because I'm starting to get pink."

To get over this, I headed to the nearest mall last night to immerse myself in holiday cheer. Bas was off on a desert safari with some friends (read my original post on why I did not accompany him) so it was perfect. It really did the trick: I was giddy with delight at finding a couple of perfect presents. And there's something about a fake Christmas tree the size of a building blinking on and off with electric blue lights that lends a sense of gravity to the situation.

Anyway, presents in hand I head to the hypermarket to get some wrapping paper. This place is like WalMart or Target except a lot cheaper and with much stranger things. They do have a huge Christmas area, though, so it seemed perfect. And they had all sorts of artificial trees, truck loads of twinkling lights and glittering piles of boxed ornaments. Dotting the end of each aisle I found cardboard boxes filled with wrapping paper, each box with a different pattern. Exactly what I needed! I grabbed a few and then realized I needed bows. Of course. Because a bow goes on a present. Right? Just like a real Christmas tree requires a tree stand.

And here is when it hit me, standing in the middle of HyperPanda: Christmas in Dubai is like living inside of an Alanis Morissette song. When she says "Its like ten thousand spoons/when all you need is a knife," I really get that now. I was surrounded by absolutely everything one needs to create Christmas: massive felt stockings with fuzzy Santas, reindeer antlers to be worn by children or drunken guests, cheap imitation Barbie doll accessories that will break in about an hour. Everything, my friends, except bows.

Lest you think I am being dramatic, I have yet another example. Last year we were all set to have a real Christmas tree. Bas even had it in the car until we realized we needed a tree stand. He put it back and we spent the next few weeks scouring the city looking for a stupid stand. Our logic was simple: find a place selling trees (his came from work) and there ye shall also find a tree stand. But no one (including the grocery store, Ikea or Ace Hardware) had a stand. Matter of fact, they looked at us as though we had sprouted two heads. Why sell both when only the tree is what you need?

I promise not to give this realization a name (though I have hopes that the "Morissette Principle" would find a home with Murphy's Law in popular usage) but in a strange way I feel better now that I have a way of explaining it--both to you and to myself. Despite the Starbucks downstairs and the Borders at Mall of the Emirates, even a year into this expat life I'm still grappling with the realization that I can't just superimpose my reality on top of another one.

But that's not all bad. Since we couldn't find a tree stand last year we ended up with the little guy you see at the top of this post. Truth be told, it reminds me of the fake Xmas trees in Charlie Brown. But it fits our place (and us!) really nicely.

Exit Bas, Enter George

This is a question for the ladies: Let's say the love of your life has left this morning for a trip to, oh let's say Kenya. How will you spend your first solo evening? You could see some friends, have some laughs, maybe meet George Clooney?

If you're me and if your beloved's departure happens to coincide with the 4th Dubai International Film Festival, that's exactly what you do.

Last Sunday I headed down to Madinat Jumeirah with my friends Shirlee and Nelda to do a little stargazing. It was opening night and while we didn't have tickets to the big gala the organizers had created a little peanut gallery for people just like us. The stars were all set to arrive around 8, so we showed up around 5:30 because we expected hordes and hordes of people. Happily, not so many folks were there (I think at the peak there were maybe 50 but that might be pushing it) and because there was no way Shirlee was going to give an inch of our front-row spot we had the perfect viewing area of the red carpet.

Remember, of course, that this is the Middle East. So in addition to George Clooney (the biggest name of the night) there were a number of Arabic and Indian performers who caused a great deal of commotion when they arrived. Who knew that Egypt had a vibrant cinematic tradition? Turns out that they do and wow, are they popular. Lebanese television stars and Bollywood actresses rounded out the hysteria.

For those of us with easily impressed with Western-style entertainment there were some other fun surprises. The first was a guy named Steve, who is apparently on the sitcom "Reba." Now, Reba plays here on the sitcom channel (yes, such a thing exists) but it could have been cancelled 10 years ago because they also play re-runs of "Blossom" on a regular basis so we're really none the wiser. Anyway, Steve got out of the limo and the ladies next to us freaked out.

Next cause for screaming (and this is actually pretty fun) was Paulo Coelho. Anyone who survived the 1995 version of High Road at Wheaton College will remember the book The Alchemist. His latest novel is The Witch of Portobello and since part of it takes happens in Dubai he has a special place in everyone's hearts. After speaking to a few journalists, Mr. Coelho came straight over to our section and shook hands with all of us. He was even kind enough to pose for a picture with me! Lit major that I am, I was tickled.

Now, there were a few ladies who graced the red carpet as well, but they didn't come near the peanut gallery. Sharon Stone was the host of an AIDS benefit and Gloria Estefan (minus the Miami Sound Machine) is giving a concert tonight. Sharon Stone waved at us from afar but I don't think Gloria Estefan even looked in our direction.

But none of that matters, really, because when George Clooney, his girlfriend and his entourage arrived all bets were off. Shrieking, yelling and jumping, the place just erupted. I forgot to mention that the festival organizers created two fan spaces: one for beautiful people and one for the rest of us. The beautiful people got to greet the stars first, and that's where George started. He came over to our space briefly, promised to be back, and then headed to the press area.

While I was a journalist in my past life, the flower industry doesn't exactly do red carpet events. I also wore suits when conducting interviews. Apparently this is a close-minded approach to reporting news in these parts because I have never seen so many sparkles, such deep cleavage and so much make-up in such a confined space. I'm sure there were male reporters as well but you really didn't see them because it was easy to be blinded by all of the bright colors.

Finally, after surviving one section of the press area George turned back to us little people. He was actually being led away from us but broke away from his group to come say hi. Not to burst any bubbles here, but he's much shorter than I imagined. Still handsome, though. And just plain old nice. He shook everyone's hand and as he did so looked us each in the eyes. He shook Shirlee's hand, she said something. He shook my hand, I said, "Nice to meet you!" and he shook Nelda's hand and she said something. I guess he hadn't expected to meet three Americans right in a row, because he stopped, looked at us and said, "Wow, there are a lot of expats here!" We all smiled and giggled. And then kept taking pictures.

So there you have it. Our brush with greatness. Since Sunday we have all three been verbally abused by everyone here who didn't attend, but we are strong. And believe me, it was worth it!

'Tis the Season

We were watching CNN tonight and I think it caught us both off-guard to remember that it is actually early December in the rest of the world. The footage was shot somewhere in Minnesota where cars carefully trundled down icy streets while rosy-cheeked girls with blonde pigtails sneaking out of their polarfleece snow hats tried to keep up with their (hatless, gloveless) mother.

Meanwhile, today I drove an hour north under a partly cloudy blue sky, dodging the occasional sand drift and dutifully moving to the middle lane when maniacs in Range Rovers roared up behind me flashing their lights for all they're worth.

Somehow, the scene in MN seems a lot more Christmasy to me.

All of this has me thinking about how my definition of "seasons" is changing. It used to be that the only guest one worried about in December was Santa. Turns out that in Holland this visitor could cause a bit more consternation than in the States. Forget that sissy lump of coal reserved for bratty American kids: Naughty Dutch children are abducted by Sinterklas and his band of black men during the first week of December. They come to your house, put you in a sack and take you to Spain. (Of course, once these kids grow up they head to Spain for weeks of hedonistic fun, but that's another story.)

In any case, December in Dubai means a very different type of guest. It could be your mom, your best friend or even someone you used to work with. And actually, it doesn't matter, because anyone will pose as your second cousin's live-in plant sitter to have the chance to spend some time in the sun and thaw out. For many who live here, it is the time to replace the front door with a revolving one and to have yet another spare key made (Dora, notice that I'm not mentioning you at all...except I just did...).

It also means that social events generally include people that no one else knows. Its great to have new faces and fun to put our "old" friends in new contexts. But a year later you look back at the pictures and think, "Who WAS that guy?" You know he was the friend of someone you knew at the time (who may have easily moved away by the time you get around to looking at the pics), but for the life of you you can't remember her name or why she was with you when the friend in question was clearly nowhere nearby.

I realize this isn't a phenomenon exclusive to Dubai, but I've never seen anything like it anywhere else I've lived. We have friends who had guests staying with them for a solid three months. Not one set of guests staying for a long stretch of time--several different groups of people settling in for days or weeks at a time.

But I'm not complaining. Dubai is a constantly changing tapestry of people, buildings and roads and really, you have to see it to believe it.

One year on

Believe it or not, last week Bas and I marked one year together here in Dubai. Its been an incredible time and we've learned so much. For instance:

a Three things that should never go together at the same time: Lena, ice cream and desert off-roading.

a Tiger Woods and Bas will never meet on the golf course.

a Curiousity may very well kill our cat Eliot if he tries to jump off our third-floor balcony again.

a If it is midnight but you're sweating like you're running on a treadmill in a blast furnace while wearing a rubber-lined track suit, then it must be summertime in Dubai.

a No matter where you are in the world, you can always count on a cold Heineken at the bar...unless you're in Montana.

a You don't realize just how much plot line you can miss when movie sensors axe sex scenes.

a Ikea makes a very fine chicken showarma.

a Just because they sell Christmas trees at the grocery store doesn't mean that they also sell Christmas tree stands...nor does anyone else in the city.

But the most important thing we've learned this year is just how lucky we are to have each other (insert "Aaaaaaww..." here).

So far, so good: We've loved this past year and we're really looking forward to the next one.